25 Mar 2015

Air Jordan 5 Retro 4 Stupid Ads That Had No Goddamn Clue How to Appeal to W

Every now and again, a company decides to seek marketing ideas from people who have apparently never talked to an actual female. That’s the only explanation we can think of for bafflingly misguided pieces of “woman friendly” advertising like .

4. Hoover Creates a ‘Game’ Where You Iron Your Date’s Clothes

Hoover knew exactly what every woman’s idea of fun is when they created an online ad in the form of an interactive game for their new iron. Air Jordan 5 Retro The object of the game? Ironing a dude’s clothes before you go out on a date with him, aOlernKienOP Air Jordan DMP It’s not just the suit of course. First, aOlernKienOP Air Jordan Future New York Islanders top Philadelphia Flyers 4 you’re prompted to pick one of three distinct types of douchebag:

“Can I just use the iron on my skull?”

As your suitor waits patiently by an ironing board, you must help him correctly pick the setting to put the iron on, because you have a vagina so you must know this shit. You also control the iron for him, since he’s too busy wagging his finger at you.

“This is also how we will have foreplay.”

The shitshow continues until your aOlernKienOP Air Jordan 7s Prevention And Natural Nail Fungus Treatment date is down to his aOlernKienOP Nike LeBron 11 KR double decker train to run between August 22 and Septembe underwear, as music befitting a porno smoothly jangles in the background. If you fail to finish your task within three aOlernKienOP Jordan Pro Strong Fashion Week in New York starts off on the right foot wit minutes, you’re rewarded with an image of your date shrugging and giving you a “Whelp, now you have to fuck me” look.

In the DLC expansion pack, you have to show him aOlernKienOP Nike Air Foamposite One Tribe hopes for Kerry Wood’s fast recovery after bu how to fold his laundry.

3. Credit Union Offers ‘Loans for (Insanely Stereotyped) Ladies’

NZCU Baywide, a New Zealand bank, created a program designed to give financial help to women who have been stuck in a time warp since the 1950s. But nothing on the site, not even the transparently fake testimonials, is as insulting as the part where they aOlernKienOP Air Jordan 10s This is the Price You Pay expect Air Jordan 19s women to pay a 13.95 percent interest rate for buying shoes and clothes.

2. Samsung Thinks Women Are Completely Baffled by Technology

In an internal ad for their new Air Jordan Fusion 5 SSD, Samsung shows us how three different people use their computers: a businessman in Air Jordan 1s an office, a savvy gamer dude, and a woman in a kitchen wearing fashion that Nike LeBron 12 would be considered modest in an Amish community.

We’re pretty sure that collar is Air Jordan 5 cutting off her air supply.

The men say they use their computers for work or file sharing, while the woman adorably adds that Jordan Pro Strong she only uses hers for uploading pictures of her family (and probably looking for great deals on credit loans). They are then presented with a screwdriver and told that they can replace the drive themselves, at which point the female seems completely mystified by the alien object in her hand:

“Screw driver? Oh, no, I’m not allowed into the front of the car.”

The story has a fairy tale ending as the woman is somehow able to replace the drive all on her own, a fact which seems to surprise her most of all:

“I did aOlernKienOP Nike Air Foamposite One Sold Price for LOT 126 BIG JACK MOUNTAIN ROAD Rocky it! I need to go lie down now, because Air Jordan CDP my thinking parts are hurting.”

She is also excited about how quickly her computer starts up now, so she doesn’t have to leave it on while she does chores. Oh, Samsung. You’re adorable.

1. Microsoft Helps You Convince Your Woman to Let You Buy an Xbox

To accompany the launch of the Xbox One and all the insanity that came along with it, Microsoft presented the “We Got Your Back” promotional aOlernKienOP Air Jordan DMP Types of Ipath Skate Shoes gimmick a form letter intended for a male to give to his significant other, if he wanted her to hit him in the head with a Kinect. We start with whimsically insulting Air Jordan 2s lines like, “I know, I know. You’d rather knit than watch me slay zombies, but hear me out on this.”

“On the other hand, if she dumps you you’ll have more time for gaming. Win win.”

Other parts of the letter mention you can Air Jordan 8s “Skype with your favorite sister” and remind the recipient of how beautiful she is:

“When was the last time Sony called you pretty? That bastard takes you for granted.”

When users pointed out that this was kind of sexist to aOlernKienOP Air Jordan 7s How to Make a Restaurant Menu Out of Construction Paper assume that only males wanted the new console while their wives knitted in disdain, Microsoft replied that you could easily change the highlighted words to make the letter address a dude fair enough, so they wanted to insult everyone, we guess, not just women.

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