In accordance with annual tradition, I pulled out the baggy blue shorts, the fraying grey T air jordan 18 black sport royal aOlernKienOP air jordan 11 legend blue white black legend blue TSA Pre check shirt and the long deflated “Nike Airs” and declared I was off for a run. To which a small human who bears an unfortunate resemblance to myself questioned: “Why?”

Children are, of course, very stupid. So there was no point aOlernKienOP Jordan Retro 1 Buying Baseball Tickets Online Becomes so Easy for Baseball explaining the reason I intended to pound my puffy legs and jiggle my distended stomach for 30 excruciating minutes was pure, unadulterated fear. The fear that grips most of the other sad desperates who waddle around the undulating five kilometre creek side aOlernKienOP air jordan 16 whisper cherrywood Fighting Against Foot Problems circuit that is our personal hell.

We are scared of the flab that conceals our belt buckles. We are scared of the extra chins that emerge from beneath the stubble during our post grand final shave although not quite scared enough to take a diuretic.

We are scared the next time we see that cute young thing, aOlernKienOP air jordan ix 9 powder black grey Tango Shoes for Beginners she might not aOlernKienOP air jordan 9 ix retro black citrus How To Wear Leggings give us a first, let alone a second, glance. We are aOlernKienOP air jordan 2011 white black red American Shoe History scared of looking and feeling the age we actually are.

This dread leads some contemporaries to buy red sports cars. Personally, air jordan 5 oregon ducks black apple green yellow strike it inspires an annual festival of pain and humiliation known as the Summer Fitness Campaign.

The urge to look marginally air jordan 3 powder blue dark powder blue black wolf grey white healthier than a slightly out of shape Rene Rivkin is not so compelling in the cold months. This is due to the delusions of wellbeing fuelled by post match alcohol, air jordan 3lab5 black infrared 23 the flattering effects of loosely fitting footy clothes and the fact my team this season provided gratification above that which may have been experienced had I been even vaguely attractive to a member of the opposite sex. But with its shaming trips to the beach, summer sets us on the painful road to fitness which does not have to be an actual road.

For air jordan 13 he got game 2013 example, I once took out a three month trial subscription to a gym called Busy Bodies, which should have been warning enough.

On my first visit, a hulking instructor looked at my sagging stomach and miniscule biceps much the way a mechanic might consider a rusted out ’79 Corolla with smoke billowing from beneath the bonnet: “Geez, mate, there’s not a air jordan 6 vi retro olympic flag lot we can do with that.”

Having been given a “light program” (read: take all the weights off and just try to pick air jordan 20 university blue white up the bar), I found myself “working out” next to the entire field of the next Mr Universe contest.

As they bench pressed entire suburbs, my sole consolation was to quietly snigger at the effect the steroids were having on the tightly packed contents of their lycra body suits.

Attempts have been made to justify the delusion that participation in actual sports can improve air jordan 11 university blue white black 2014 fitness. It took two seasons with a local club XI to make the amazing deduction that cricket burns calories as well as caffeine cures insomnia.

Then again, blokes like Boony, Tubby, Warney, Beefy and big Eddie Hemmings could play an entire six Test series and still stack it on. No wonder Gloria Marshall isn’t pestering Cricket Australia’s marketing department to put her name on the stumps. I have a few even more deluded friends who consider their weekly 18 holes to be roughly equivalent to participation in the Hawaii ironman triathlon.

Having ambled a few kilometres, stopping more frequently than they would like to swipe at the ball, they go on and on about how “it’s great aOlernKienOP air jordan 18 black sport royal How To Cut Down a Tree to be getting some exercise” usually while draining their third air jordan 1 retro high strap black red post aOlernKienOP Air Jordan 10s Maggie’s Place holds first charity run in Tempe round lager.

I’m advised that a possible alternative to exercise is improved diet. That, for instance, every third pizza could be replaced by something called a “salad” and aOlernKienOP air jordan 16 whisper cherrywood Choosing a Bowling Ball The Correct Way that modern refrigeration has removed the need to drain the entire six pack before you get it home from the bottle shop. Obviously, this has been dismissed as the talk of cranks and zealots.

No, having tried all alternatives, my SFC leads inevitably to the lonely trot along the creek. To a monastic ritual where your mind becomes free, your thoughts clear. Where you can aOlernKienOP air jordan force 5 white orange blue Fashion of 1950 hear your body cry out: “Act air jordan 4 iv retro black cat black black light graphite your age idiot. This really, really hurts.”.