If you’ve suffered from skin cancer,
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, pink polka dot (for the ladies) and or Morlock polka dot (for the Morlocks).

Isn’t that the guy who pulled the trigger on the Death Star?

Protecting yourself against skin cancer is important,
, but there are myriad better ways to do it sunblocks, hats, umbrellas that don’t involve the caustic mockery of strangers and the occasional panicked call to the CDC. In a surprisingly honest (if somewhat ill advised) marketing move, the website itself even admits that when the company owner wore it in public, ". the visor made her the object of many jokes." She went on to say,
, however, that "it was fine,
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Are you concerned that your big, meaty fingers pounding away at the keyboard might be disturbing others? Well, we think you’ve got bigger problems, ugly.

But if you’re still self conscious about your keyboard racket, the Keyboard Quiet Cover is a fabric pouch that slides over your apparently solid steel and wind chime keyboard to dampen the deafening cacophony. There’s even a plastic window for hunt and peck typists to see their fingers, or just so you can pretend your mouse is radioactive and you’re the only man who can stop it before meltdown.

Though it’s kind of hard to explain to your doctor why your arms are rug burned from the elbows down.

It’s not a bad idea, but they make soft key keyboards for this very reason,
, and that’s a lot less stupid looking than the forearm hazmat suit. Look at that thing: It’s like somebody put your hands in quarantine (and honestly, probably rightfully so; they know what you did with them).

Via . because it’s essentially a tarp draped over a lawn chair and a wet space heater,
.

This isn’t a symptom of the exponentially increasing stupidity of our modern world, however these things have actually been around for years, as seen in this Elle ad from 1964.

Why do we get the feeling that James Bond is trapped in that thing,
?

Apparently,
, looking like Baron Harkonnen from that Dune movie is the kind of sexy that transcends generations.

We’re all basically hauling around a tiny robot army: We’ve got our smartphones, laptops, e readers, iPods and Roombas with knives taped to them (for self defense). Unless you want to start carrying a backpack just for cyberwarfare, it’s kind of a pain to lug that stuff around. The Grab It Pack finally fixes all that. It lets you haul all your gadgets around in a set of custom designed,
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His entire life is spent waiting for someone to brag about something so he can tell them, "Great,
, kid, don’t get cocky."

Surely there has to be a better way to transport our electronics without opening oneself up to endless wounded ranting from crazy eyed Browncoats,
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Wow,
, that won’t get your ass kicked at all!

It lets you carry your iPad like a kangaroo with a tastefully minimalist joey. The plastic window is also "touch through,
Moreover," in case you just can’t get enough of sarcastic strangers poking you in the chest and asking if you get Reddit on your tits.

Umbrellas are a pain in the ass. Sure, they protect your head and shoulders from the rain,
, but the second the slightest breeze kicks up, you suddenly find yourself the unwitting mast for an urban sail that, best case scenario,
, inverts itself in your hands,
, and worst case scenario, flies from your grip, whips down the street and spears the Pope in the neck.

Besides, you have to dedicate a whole hand just to umbrella maintenance: Who has an entire appendage to spare these days, what with the Twitters and the Pinterests and all? Wouldn’t it be great to have some kind of hands free umbrella that could stand up to a strong wind? Good news: You can buy one today!

Bad news: It makes you look like a joke from Demolition Man,
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Enter the Nubrella, an umbrella that you strap on and wear around your head and shoulders, thus freeing your hands and completely protecting you from rain,
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