“If you had a brain, you’d take it out and play with it” were my father’s words to me as I was growing up. This wasn’t a compliment or encouragement of my questioning nature. Through my early years, my self esteem was low for a neuro typical child. As Yoda would say, “Devastated, I was, from years of deep emotional abuse.” After finally realizing that I couldn’t be “that bad”, in my early 30’s I sought help through a self esteem building group. We shared stories and together began the slow road of healing by using certain, carefully chosen techniques.

The most powerful tool was the use of positive affirmations. I was assigned “I am lovable, capable and beautiful”, and given instructions to say it ten times a day. At first I almost gagged. Some days I would hold that Teddy Bear for dear life. To this day, I consider him my savior. Finally, after weeks of persistence with using the affirmation, I began to believe that it had merit. I choose to claim my power over anger and fear or any other limiting ideas, because I know a better truth.

I see myself as the universe sees me, whole, perfect and complete. As I see my strength, my confidence is shown to me. I recognize the uniqueness and magnificence of my being. I know that I have enough love from everyone, including my friends, my family and myself.

Happily, I release these words into the divine light and let them come into being. I am jordan 10 one with spirit.

Children with autism have a much harder time with their self esteem. They often perceive the constant correction of their behaviors and their social interactions as criticism. The frequent visits to doctors, or speech therapists, or OTs, the testing and the stream of interventions that we try with them can easily leave jordan 6 them feeling like they’re under the microscope, a specimen that warrants investigation, a person who needs fixing.

Expressive and comprehensive communication also have a direct impact on a child’s self esteem. These are areas that do not come easily to children or adults with autism/AS. Understanding subtle jokes and participating in human interplay, actions natural to their neuro typical peers, further increase their feelings of ‘not fitting in’ and erode their self esteem.

Combine all this with the expectations of siblings and the all too frequent bullying interactions from many peers and it’s easy to understand how devastated a child with an autism spectrum disorder can feel.

What can we do? It’s critical for us, as family members, educators, and professionals to learn strategies and techniques! In our not too distant past, institutional placement was the standard intervention for people with autism/AS. While that is not the case today, we still encounter lack of understanding and appreciation for the unique qualities of the person with ASD. Everyone, especially these visual learners, need a constant reminder of how special they truly are.

It Starts with US

But how do we really build their self esteem? It starts with us examining our own ideas of how we view children with autism/AS. We must believe in their value ourselves before we can ever change their minds. These kids know when we’re faking our compliments or arbitrarily handing out encouragement because the therapy book says we should give 5 positive comments to each correction. It involves empathy, walking in their shoes, rather than sympathy no one wants to be felt sorry for. Each child is a gift, with his or her own special qualities. We just need to look for these special gifts, tune into the child with our hearts, and bring their essence out.

It Goes on to Others

Knowledge is power and no where is it more powerful than in helping people better understand what it’s like to have autism/AS. Explain autism to everyone involved with the child. This will increase their empathy and provide opportunities for genuine praise and encouragement. Explain autism to the child, too, when he is able to understand his disability. Who are we really kidding, other than ourselves, when we pretend a child does not have the autism label or we try to camouflage it? Who are we hurting? It’s the child with autism who is hurt in the long run.

Go to conferences, read books, research and share information that takes into consideration the many sensory, social, behavioral and communication challenges faced by the child at his/her functioning level. Armed with this understanding of how the disability affects the child, you and others can better find ways to help him or her fit in.

Remember to teach extended family, educators, other parents and professionals all you can to help integration and provide a deeper understanding when trying to teach particular skills. Be intuitive when advocating for children and persistent in your approach, though not abrasive. Having a positive mental attitude, especially when advocating, helps others want to cooperate with us. After all, who wants to deal jordan 6 with anyone cranky?

Bridge the interactions between peers and the child with autism. Visually and verbally interpret what you think they both are thinking and/or feeling based on your own experiences when you were their age, and your understanding of autism.

By teaching others about autism, more people will become aware of this invisible disability. When people understand empathetically, they will more naturally accept the child with autism, as he is. This is often effective in reducing or eliminating bullying from peers, too.

Learn to correct behaviors by sandwiching the correction in the middle of positive feedback. For example, “Sammy, you are doing a great job cleaning your room. If you pick up the clothes over there it would look even neater. Boy, you sure are a good listener.”