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锘?Mr. Gibson," I said as I shook hands with the dashing, young Lethal Weapon star with the piercing blue eyes. "I am thrilled that you’ve chosen me as your publicist. I swear, your image is in good hands, Mr. Gibson."

"Please, call me Mel. And that’s all great to hear, Daniel," Mel Gibson said. "I really enjoy what your public relations firm has done, and I think this will be a wonderful relationship. I hope you’re up for the challenge of making me seem decent to the public."

"All due respect, Mel,
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"Oh,
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"Ahhah,
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Here We Provide So Many Kind Of New Spizike Easter, I’m needed on set now. Talk to you soon!" He flashed a grin and quickly exited. He knew my name was O’Brien, it was clearly a joke. Nothing to be worried about. I had the successful, talented and devilishly charming Mel Gibson as my client.

DOB: Hey, Mel, it’s me. Quick question: What, uhthe hell?

MEL: Is this about the gay thing?

DOB: It is about the gay thing. You were asked what you thought of homosexuals, and that is what you came up with?

MEL: Hey,
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DOB: Hey, your beliefs are your beliefs,
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MEL: So what do I do?

DOB: You’re a young enough guy. For now, I’d say just toss it up to youthful ignorance. If you apologize outright, everyone will know it’s a PR move. You were just speaking your mind, shooting from the hip,
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DOB: Yes. Stand your ground BUT,
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DOB: Mel? Dan here. How are things?

MEL: Couldn’t be better.

DOB: I’ll disagree.

MEL: Oh?

DOB: Just saw the new Playboy, Mel,
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MEL: I remember some of that conversation. Yikes, my memory’s got more leaks than a Polish submarine. Or, for that matter, a Polish person’s brain. And the thing about their womenfolk is that

DOB: Whoa! Whoa, no. None of that. Try saying plenty of things that aren’t that whenever people talk to you about this Playboy thing which, sure as you’re born, they will.

MEL: What do I say?

DOB: Right now? Absolutely nothing. Lay low for a while. In a few years, do some charity work with GLAAD to show that you’re not an intolerant or hateful person. And, in general, just just don’t talk about homosexuals, really,
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MEL: Got it. So Polish women, though,
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